WARNING: This is a veeeerrrrryyyyyy long post.
I wonder which bastard invented exams. Since yesterday my family kept talking bout my results, i got 20th place in my class< wif 35 ppl in it. I know it's not a good result & i'm not happy with it either. My very lovely mother, kept saying things like "U think u very gud? U're very satisfied?" She NEVER thought about how i felt. It's da same for UPSR, i got 5As & of course i hoped i could do better, i cried A LOT in school & i just decided to eat some ice cream to comfort myself. & then my mother came to pick me up & of course she isn't satisfied & my extra "smart" tuition teacher added "she even have the mood to eat ice cream." which makes my mum agree & made her angrier at me, for trying to be happy? Why does everyone want me to be gloomy & sad all day? Then they would be satisfied?
I never liked tuition......& my mum is reeeaaalllyyyy mad this time. She told me to be in da Top 10 for da next 2 exams or i'll have to go tuition. I know it doesn't sound that bad but trust me, it's bad. Instead of hating them, i'm literally scared of tuitions /.\ some...previous bad memories.& so, i argued with her just now.... & i never cried like this for such a long time....never shouted like this too< i can't shout...usually.. It turns out that da progress isn't important at all to her, da results is da most important after all. I studied my ass off this time & this is wad i get. I always asked them y do they have such high hopes on me. Just because i have gud results in std 1 & 2, i mean, anyone can do that! & also because my bro has bad results? I always envied him, his pressure is a lot lesser compared to me.
1 A in his report card & she'll die of happiness. My mum wasn't even satisfied with a B in my report card. Why don't they ever think of my feelings? I really want to just leave everything & run away...but of course i don't have da guts to do that....my friends are somehow da only ones that i could talk to....but telling them this won't help anyway, so i'll just spit it all out here. Is it fun to scold ppl like that? Is it fun to make ppl do things they don't like to do? Is it fun to just watch ppl cry? My life doesn't suck, i do. I suck at everything i do, & i admit it. I have no talent, i can't play any instrument, i don't draw well, don't have gud results, i'm not gud in sports, i have nothing. So thx a lot, for making me feel like crap.
It's good that i let go of all of my negative emotions here....& i'm quite ok now....my eyes are swollen ._. but yea, hope u guys have a better day than me.
Love,
Kylee
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